Monday, February 20, 2023

Noon buckets at the Y

 .... or, if you prefer its given name: The NBA All-Star Game.

Didn't watch a lick of it last night, but I hear it was a lot like watching Booger's five take on Steve-O's in make-it-take-it. First team to ten buckets wins, and Big Load (or just "Load") gets winners.

Out in Salt Lake City it was Team Giannis vs. Team LeBron, first team to 182 wins. Team Giannis won 184-175. Jayson Tatum scored an All-Star record 55 points to go with 10 rebounds and six assists. Team Giannis shot a ridiculous 61.8 percent and 43.9 percent from the 3-point arc. 

I'm just guessing here, but I suspect part of that was because of this one photo I saw.

It's a shot of Tatum caught in mid-air, just about to throw one down. His "defender”, LeBron James, is right there with him.

OK, so not THERE there. Actually he's just standing flat-footed with his hands raised half-heartedly, a safe injury-avoiding distance away.

And, yeah, I know it's an All-Star game, and nobody plays defense in an All-Star game. But at least once upon a time it wasn't Booger vs. Steve-O. At least it used to be the West vs. East, one conference playing for bragging rights against the other.

Team Giannis vs. Team LeBron? Why should I care about that?

You want me to care, at least a little, bring back West vs. East. And inject the sort of chaos of which the Blob is occasionally a fan, and about which it occasionally daydreams.

With the NBA All-Star Game, the daydream is this: What would happen if one All-Star -- it would only take one -- decided to play maniacal defense? Nothing else, just maniacal, playoff-level D?

Block everything that comes inside. Contest every three. Deny the basketball, go for the steal ... hell, maybe even pick up the ballhandler three-quarter court. 

Better yet, don't tell anyone he's going to do it.

You know what would happen, of course. The rest of the All-Stars would lose their damn minds.

They'd be yelling and pointing and getting up in the guy's grill, and then they'd start screaming at the refs. Eventually someone being maniacally guarded would throw the basketball at his tormentor in frustration.

It would be freaking hilarious.

And of course it could never happen. As soon as the guy D-ed up, LeBron or Giannis would take him out and plant him on the bench for the duration. 

But, hey. A guy can dream, right?

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