So everyone's up in arms about Tiger Woods' attempt at being funny the other day, when he slipped his friend and playing partner Justin Thomas a tampon after Woods outdrove him on a hole.
The usual suspects -- i.e., all those Alpha Alvins and Testosterone Timmys out there -- said lighten up, it was just a joke, and it was ridiculous Tiger apologized for it, even though he really didn't.
Women, meanwhile, wearily tried to explain yet again how tired they are of men implying that weakness is a woman thing. And how thoughtless it was to make yet another joke at their expense, seeing how it's women who in big ways and small have so often not been taken seriously.
The Blob's take on all this?
Seventh-grade boys gonna seventh-grade boy.
Which is to say, Tiger's joke was the epitome of seventh-grade boy humor -- or, more specifically, seventh-grade boy bathroom humor. It was the golf course version of the Millard Fillmore Middle School Second-Floor Boys Bathroom World Farting Championship.
I find that a lot funnier than the joke Tiger thought he was trying to make. Allegedly grown men behaving like seventh-grade boys are frequently hilarious, after all. That's when they're not annoying or scary or just plain sad.
Really, Tiger? A tampon joke? Weak. Try a grownup joke next time.
That sort of thing.
Also weak, of course, was his non-apology apology, the whole "If I offended anyone" shuck. As former Olympic star Michael Jordan pointed out, starting an apology with that phrase is no apology.
"But this is Tiger," he said.
Indeed. Years ago, when Tiger was still a dumb college kid just emerging as a generational talent, he told a supremely crude, supremely unfunny joke in the presence of heralded feature write Charles Pierce. Pierce included it in his profile of the young Tiger, and Tiger and his people got all upset about it.
Yeah, well. Welcome to big boy journalism, folks.
Thing is, all these years later, Tiger's sense of humor doesn't seem to have matured any. He's still the juvenile prankster, apparently. And now he doesn't even have the excuse of being young and dumb anymore.
Alpha Alvin and Testosterone Timmy no double would sneer at that line of reasoning, saying it's a man thing and Real Men understand that. So go melt your tears somewhere else, snowflake.
I'll be sure to remember that the next time some Alpha Alvin whines about the "emasculation" of men these days, and how alpha males are persecuted for their alpha-ness now by the woke mob.
Gee. Was that a snowflake I just saw?
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