Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Today in grumpy baseball codger-y

 Pitchers and catchers report this week beneath the high sky of Arizona and the trade winds of Florida, and today in northeast Indiana it's supposed to hit 55 degrees. I even heard a bird chirping outside awhile ago.

I'm not saying one has anything to do with the other, mind you. But you never know,

Know what else I never knew?

That Major League Baseball could get even dumber if it really tried.

This upon the news that MLB will make permanent an experimental rule the Blob calls Beam Me Up To Second Base, Scotty, which involves starting every extra half-inning with a runner on second base.  This runner has done nothing to get there, mind you. He just magically appears on second, as if he were, yes, beamed up, or ralphed from Babe Ruth's spectral gut after the Bambino had inhaled too many hot dogs

It really is the dumbest thing ever. And that's coming from a guy who's never worshipped at the altar of Old Time Baseball as fervently as many of my generation do.

The pitch clock organized baseball is experimenting with, for instance. I'm all for it.

 Anything that speeds up what has become a glacial slog in too many cases is fine by me. I'd even be in favor of expelling from his at-bat any player who calls time to adjust his batting glove, wristbands or any other part of his wardrobe.

A nine-inning baseball game was never meant to last four hours. It didn't when baseball was in its infancy, and that's a big reason why it became the National Pastime to begin with.

But this second-base rule?

Ridiculous.

Look. I get it. It's supposed to shorten extra-inning games and protect the integrity of a pitching staff, something the players' union and coaching staffs are all for. Can't have a guy pitch three or four extra innings, after all, and then expect him to be ready for his usual spot in the rotation.

Which is part of why today's pitchers are as fragile as spun glass, in the Blob's opinion. It's not that they throw too much; it's that they throw too little. And they sit every time they feel a twinge or a tweak or (my favorite) "discomfort".

"Wow, Mr. Blob," you're saying now. "That sure sounds like grumpy Old Time Baseball codger-y to me."

Yeah, well ... perhaps I've misrepresented myself a bit. But this whole Beam Me To Second deal is too newfangled even for a fairly progressive codger like me.

For starters, it messes with the stats, which baseball reveres like the Dead Sea scrolls. If the first batter up in extras hits a dinger now, he gets not just one RBI but a second, wholly unearned one. And if he singles to right or doubles into the gap, he gets an RBI he wouldn't have in any inning preceding the 10th.

This artificially plumps up a guy's numbers. And I thought baseball HATED artificially plumped-up numbers. Isn't that a major reason voters give for keeping all the Steroids Era guys out of the Hall?

Just sayin'.

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