Thursday, February 9, 2023

The further adventures of Aaron

 And now, 80 hours or so before the Superb Owl, it's time to play How I'm Spending My Offseason for all of those who aren't playing in the Superb Owl.

You there! Aaron Rodgers! What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna go off to a small house in the middle of nowhere to sit by myself in the dark for four days!

Come on, Aaron. Quit screwing around.

No, really! That's what I'm doing! It's called a "darkness retreat' and it's going to help me decide whether I want to retire or jerk the Packers around for another offseason!

Aaaaa-ron ...

I'm serious!

And he is, folks.

Yes, the strangest man in the National Football League really did say on Pat McAfee's radio show this week that he's going off to take part in a "darkness retreat", which really does involve sitting alone in a small house for four days and nights almost completely isolated from human contact and external stimuli. Just a man sitting in the dark for four days, alone with this thoughts.

This would be regarded as bizarre behavior for anyone who's not a Tibetan monk or Kwai Chang Caine, except that it's Aaron Rodgers. Sitting alone in the dark for four days probably doesn't come close to redlining the weirdness factor for a man who last offseason took part in an ayahuasca ceremony capable of producing hallucinations. 

"I'm really looking forward to it," Rodgers told McAfee of his isolation retreat.

To each his own, the Blob says to that. But it's going to be really interesting to hear what he has to say when he emerges.

"Zuul tells me I'm the keymaster and must go play for the New York Jets," is one thing you can imagine him saying.

Remember where you heard it first.

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