Let the storylines begin

 Today begins the hype-iest hypefest of hype in American sports, Superb Owl Week, aka Super Bowl Week for those officially licensed to use the words "Super Bowl." Which of course no one can who didn't pay the GNP of Albania to buy commercial time on Superb Owl Sunday.

The Blob thinks this is the next thing to extortion, frankly. It also thinks, as a card-carrying Civil War nerd, that if we're going to call it Superb Owl Week, the official logo should be a silhouette of Union general Winfield Scott Hancock. 

Hancock, see, was known as Hancock the Superb during the Late Unpleasantness. He also ran for president some years after the war, but lost to James Garfield. Garfield went on to be assassinated a few months later, although Hancock didn't have anything to do with that.

Anyway ...

On with the festivities!

Which for the media this week will involve beating to death several storylines, the way the media does when it has so much time on its hands to write about just another damn football game. 

First off,  there'll be the Two Black Quarterbacks For The First Time In Super Bowl History storyline. How's it feel to be a black quarterback playing against another black quarterback, Patrick Mahomes? What about you, Jalen Hurts? Is this CRT Gone Wild, and will the Human History Eraser, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, fly out to Arizona with a cease-and-desist order?

Let's move on then, to the Two Brothers Playing In the Super Bowl storyline, starring Travis Kelce of the Chiefs and Jason Kelce of the Eagles. How's it gonna feel if you beat your brother, Travis? How's it gonna feel if you beat YOUR brother, Jason? And will Mom Kelce be pissed at whichever brother beats the other, like when they were kids?

Travis, get off your brother. And give him his ball back. 

That sort of thing.

Speaking of that sort of thing, how about the Andy Reid Playing The Team He Once Coached storyline?

Will he feel a tinge of regret if he beats the Eagles, whom he coached to four conference championships and one Super Bowl between 1999 and 2012? Will his mother yell at him for being so mean to a city that was so nice to him for 14 years? Or will he say, "Yah, neener-neener-neener, ya bums!"?

An entire nation breathlessly awaits the answers.

Or, you know, not. I vote not.