Monday, January 23, 2017

Today's moment of alternative reality

So you know what happened over the weekend? You do know, right?

The Indianapolis Colts fired GM Ryan Grigson, architect of the Seven Blocks of Spackle offensive line that has almost gotten Andrew Luck killed, architect of the Parchment Curtain defense that has, officially, about 0.5 playmakers.

They did not fire head coach Chuck Pagano, who took the meager scraps Grigson provided him and somehow made them more meager.

Colts owner Jim Irsay declared, essentially, that this is because Pagano is about to morph into Bill Belichick. Seriously. He is. Just watch.

I mean, didn't he take the Colts up to Foxborough Sunday and beat the Patriots 56-12 in the AFC title game? Didn't the Colts reach the Super Bowl just one day after Grigson was let go?

What do you mean they didn't?

What do you mean I'm lying?

Pffft. I'm not lying. I'm just presenting alternative facts.

Which, I hear, are all the rage these days.

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