And, OK, so the Blob knows the catechism of failure adhered to by the citizens of Cleveland is not really a religion. We just felt like paraphrasing a little R.E.M. this morning.
Then again, things have definitely gotten weird on the shores of Lake Erie. First, the Cavaliers come from 3-1 down in the NBA Finals against the greatest regular-season team in NBA history, ending 52 years of heartache and civic angst and blah-blah-blah, yadda-yadda-yadda.
Well, now the Indians are acting very non-Indians-like.
In case you weren't paying attention, the Tribe just won their 14th straight game, a club record and not the kind of thing you might expect for a baseball team that's been only intermittently successful over the years. Now they're solidly atop the AL Central, leading the defending World Series champs, the Kansas City Royals, by seven games with a 49-30 record. That's the best record in the American League outside of the Texas Rangers, and the fourth best record in all of baseball.
So, basically, they're really good. And the Cavs are champions. And downtown Cleveland, if you haven't been there lately, is undergoing a renaissance that's been going on for at least a decade. And later this month C-Town hosts the Republican National Convention, which means the eyes of America and large parts of the world will be on them.
Fast forward to this fall, when the Browns will suck again and the Dog Pound will be pounding Alpo, basking in a full-on nostalgia rush.
DOG POUNDER ONE: Man, these guys suck. Remember when all our teams sucked like this?
DOG POUNDER TWO: Yeah. Never forget that bleep-bleep Brian Sipe and that bleep-bleep Elway and that bleep-bleep bleepin' Jose Mesa. Just kick the field goal, Rutigliano! Punch Jordan in the walnuts next time, Ehlo! And bleep-bleep it, Mesa, close the deal!
DOG POUNDER ONE (nodding): Yep, those were the days, all right. And remember Go-Go Joe Charbonneau? Remember Bingo Smith?
DOG POUNDER TWO (reverently): Bingo Smith!
(They sigh blissfully)