And now a special Election Day edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the stubborn grease stain of Blob features of which the makers of Oxyclean have said "Oh, HELL, no, we're not touchin' that one" and "Hey, we never said we could get everything out":
1. Derek Carr for President!
2. Dak Prescott for President!
3. Matthew Stafford for President!
4. Tom Brady for Presi--
5. OK. That'll be enough of that.
6. In other news, the Colts.
7. Impersonated an actual football team for 60 minutes.
8. In a related story, the Green Bay Packers are now 85 percent sure the guy wearing No. 12 for them is a clever duplicate of Aaron Rodgers and not the actual Aaron Rodgers.
9. John Quincy Adams for President!
10. Because dead men tell no lies, unlike those other people.