And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature of which internet trolls have sneered "Here comes the wall, bleep-bleep!" and "Trump's gonna send you back where you belong, as soon as he figures out how this newfangled thing called the 'Presidency' works":
1. 5-4, 6-3, 5-4, 5-4, 6-4.
2. The respective records of the Ravens, the Texans, the Lions, the Vikings and the Falcons, all of whom either lead or are tied for the lead in their divisions.
3. In case you were wondering why those TV ratings are down.
4. In other news, the Browns!
5. Are still the Browns!
6. Oh, and Jay Cutler is still Jay Cutler.
7. Ditto Tony Romo.
8. Who looks real nice holdin' that clipboard, dudn't he?
9. Hey, no fair! The Patriots lost!
10. And Pete Carroll won!