And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the irredeemable Blob feature the coming new regime in Washington would term "deplorable" if it could bring itself to call anything deplorable anymore, including stuff that's deplorable:
1. It's Tuesday morning and DeAndre Hopkins is still in bounds.
2. The Browns!
3. Are still the Browns!
4. That's OK, son. Everyone misses an extra point once in awhile.
5. (Repeat a dozen times, or once for every time an NFL placekicker missed an extra point this week)
6. (Fire your NFL placekicker)
7. (Look around. Point at random guy walking past the facility. Say, "You there! Can you kick?")
8. Colts win! Colts win!
9. (Remove exclamation points. Repeat. Add, "... But they're still not that good")
10. It's Tuesday morning. Tony Romo is going in any second now. Really.