And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the unrepentant Blob feature of which the FBI has lamented "What, no emails?", and also "Come on, there's got to be some emails vaguely connected to Hillary Clinton in here somewhere":
1. Jay Cutler is back, baby!
2. (Delivered in a tone not nearly as sarcastic as you think)
3. Tony Romo is back, baby!
4. (Delivered only for its ironic effect, because he's not. But his baseball cap and clipboard are all ready to go)
5. In other news, Tom Brady.
6. Threw for some more yards and touchdowns and stuff as the Patriots won again and zzzzzzzz.
7. "A tie? I skipped West Brom vs. Hotspur for this?"
8. (Overheard at Wembley Stadium, where the Bengals and Redskins, yes, tied in Roger Goodell's continuing mission to shove the NFL down the throats of bemused and largely indifferent Britons)
9. OK, so the Colts just suck.
10. (Delivered in a tone of resignation, as in "We were hoping they were just starting slow again, but, no, they just suck")