And now the final edition for 2014 of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature hailed by Jim Cantore of The Weather Channel as "an extremely dangerous storm" that he "can't wait to get out in":
1. Congratulations to the Packers, the Cowboys, the Seahawks, the Colts, the Patriots, the Steelers and the Broncos, your 2014 division champions.
2. Hmm. Seems like we're forgetting someone.
3. No, really. There's someone else. The Lions, maybe?
4. No, not the Lions. They lost the division when they lost in Green Bay again for the 247th consecutive time.
5. Not the Saints, either. Anyone found them yet, by the way?
6. And not the Cardinals, who, you know, were really good, until all their quarterbacks got hurt, even Jim Hart and Matt Leinert.
7. Rex Ryan? Jim Harbaugh? Jay Cutler?
8. The Panthers?
9. Yes! That's it! The 7-8-1 Panthers! Champions of ... of ... the NFC South!*
10. (* -- Status as an actual NFL division still under review).
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