And now the latest installment of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature House Republicans have called "a massive federal overreach" and "the greatest threat to our liberty since that hippie Pete Carroll beat the Dallas Cowboys, America's Team":
1. Speaking of the Cowboys, they won again this week. 'Murica!
2. But it was only the Bears. Not quite so much 'Murica!
3. Hey, look, it's the Raiders!
4. Who was that they were playing again?
5. Because, you know, it kinda looked like the 49ers. A little bit.
6. Meanwhile, the Packers! And the Patriots! Because, you know, the Packers and Patriots.
7. Likewise, the Browns. Because, the Browns.
8. Hey, anyone seen the Saints?
9. Coulda sworn they were supposed to play the Panthers this week.
10. Somebody call the 49ers. Maybe they're together.