The Shunshine State

 Those giant-slayin' Florida Panthers whupped the Toronto Maple Leafs on the road last night in Game 1 of the conference semis, which no doubt made a lot of folks in south Florida happy. And maybe it eased their fears a bit, too, seeing how they seem so a-skeered of the Maple Leafs and their fans. 

"Hey! We're not a-skeered!" Panthers Fan just protested.

So you'll let any old fan into Games 3 and 4 in Miami, and not just U.S. citizens the way the Panthers have planned?

"Hell, no, we won't!" Panthers Fan responds. "This is Florida, the Shunshine State! We're into xenophobia, homophobia, history-o-phobia and inclusion-o-phobia! Just like our beloved governor, Ron 'il Duce' DeSantis!"

Lot of phobias goin' on these days down in il Duce's magic kingdom, to be sure. Including Magic Kingdom-o-phobia, come to think of it.

So I guess the Panthers being afraid of Maple Leafs fans taking over their building fits right into the prevailing Florida ethos, which accounts for the restrictive ticket policy. It won't keep every Maple Leafs fan out of the building, but the Panthers hope it will at least cut down on those schemin' Canadian snowbirds -- even if their hefty Florida presence helps fill the coffers of the Panthers and Tampa Bay Lightning each winter.

To say it's lame and gutless and a glaring admission that the Panthers don't think much of their fan base is almost too obvious to say, but we'll say it anyway. It is lame and gutless and all the rest. I could add it's also part and parcel of the Fear The Other culture il Duce has cultivated in Florida, but that seems too deep a dive.

No, this is mainly about fan bases, and how teams try to prop up weak ones. This may be casting aspersion on Panthers fans, but if they'd show up and fill the joint, they wouldn't have to worry about a mass incursion of Leafs fans. 

You can do that, right, Panthers Fan?

Hello? Panthers Fan?