The Cup runneth under

 We're down to the final four in the Stanley Cup playoffs, and I've gotta say, I'm underwhelmed. Let's go to the particulars, shall we?

* In the East, it's the Carolina Hurricanes against the Florida Panthers, "meh" against vitamin-fortified "meh." Seriously, I don't know anything about these teams, except that the Hurricanes were once the Hartford Whalers and had that way-cool logo, and the Panthers got run in four in the  1996 Stanley Cup Final by Joe Sakic, Patrick Roy and the Colorado Avalanche.

Oh, and their fans like to throw rubber rats on the ice, for some odd reason.

The Panthers haven't been back to a Final since '96, while the Hurricanes hoisted the Cup in 2006. It was the first major pro championship for the state of North Carolina, even if half the population likely thought the Cup looked like one of Dale Earnhardt's old engine blocks.

I guess this means I'm picking the 'Canes. 

* In the West, meanwhile, we've got the Dallas Stars and the Vegas Golden Knights. I can't think of a matchup that fills me with less Deeply Care. The Stars have no stars a non-puckhead would recognize -- they don't even have Mike Modano anymore -- and Vegas has Jonathan Marchessault and a bunch of guys.

Also, they eliminated Connor McDavid, Leon Draisaitl and the Edmonton Oilers (aka: Canada), which took the entertainment value of Stanley from 60 to zero in six seconds. So to hell with 'em.

That said, I'm picking Vegas to win. That's who the smart people are picking, and I always listen to the smart people.

That would set up a Vegas-Carolina Final, a 6-year-old expansion team vs. a team relocated to the middle of NASCAR country. Boy howdy.

Where are the Canadian teams? (Oh, right, they've been MIA for 30 years). Where are the Original Six teams? And, speaking of which, where in God's name are the Boston Bruins, who wrecked the league this winter with a record 65 wins and 135 points?

Oh, yeah. They got knocked out in the first round by the rat-throwers. 

So it's a couple of non-hockey country teams, with the even more dismaying possibility of  Dallas-Miami (Florida). Dallas-Miami is not a Stanley Cup Final, for God's sake. It's a Thanksgiving Day NFL game.

I guess this means root like hell (or heck, in this case) for Carolina and Vegas. And just write it down as the year the Cup runneth under.