Name game time!

The deposed owner of the Washington Commanders, Disgustin' Dan Snyder, predictably has left some lovely parting gifts for Josh Harris and the new ownership group. And by "lovely parting gifts", I do not mean the kind they used to dole out on "The Price Is Right."

I mean parting gifts like, "Oh, yeah, and our nickname? It might be a problem."

According to this piece from Eric Blum of Deadspin, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office denied the Washington NFL team's application  to trademark the Commanders nickname. That's because two other sports entities -- including the annual Army-Navy football game, called the Commanders Classic -- have dibs on the name.

It's a par-for-the-course screwup by Disgustin' Dan and the rest of his Disgustin' regime, and it could mean the franchise might have to change its nickname for the third time in four years.

Granted, it probably won't happen. All the application rejection means is the Commanders might have a harder time fighting people who want to sell knockoff Washington Commanders gear. But should Harris and Co. want to change the name again, a piece of advice: Don't pick something as generic and boring as "Commanders."

"Oh, no," you're saying. "I suppose this means you have a few suggestions."

Well, now that you mention it ...

How about the Washington Fightin' Appropriators?

It's both highly relevant and a true reflection of how things work in Washington D.C., where Congress critters never met a pet project at which they wouldn't throw bales of taxpayer cash. No one appropriates the hell out of a thing like an elected official. It's their favorite pastime, narrowly beating out schmoozing donors and shivving bills they don't like by letting them die in committee.

Speaking of which, how about the Washington Fightin' Bills?

This one has the advantage of a ready-made mascot: The cartoon bill from "How A Bill Becomes Law." His name, of course, would be "Bill", and he could prance up and down the sideline waving his scary Fountain Pen of Death at opposing players.

The downside is this nickname also would lend itself to ready-made headlines should the Fightin' Bills turn out to be a giant can of Alpo. "Bills Tabled Again" comes to mind. So do  "Bears Vote Down Bills" and "Chiefs Line-Item Veto Bills To Death On Arrowhead Stadium Floor."

Also, the Buffalo Bills might object. Just a hunch.

Some other ideas:

* The Washington Fightin' Memorials.

With a rotating cast of mascots Memorializing Sammy Baugh, Sonny Jurgensen, Joe Theismann and other franchise greats. The logo could be a bas relief of the Lincoln Memorial, with a bas relief of the Jefferson Memorial for the alternate unis.

* The Washington K-Street Kommandos.

A nod to that great Washington tradition, accepting wads of cash from lobbyists in return for some favorable legislatin'. The logo could be a dollar sign above a handshake on a green background. The mascot could be a pig wearing a barrel -- pork barrel, get it? -- named Quid Pro Quo.

* The Washington Fightin' Traffics.

A salute to, what else, D.C.'s infamous traffic. Featuring Road Rage Ronnie, a snarly guy stomping around with a steering wheel and fake steam coming from his ears. Every home game, the team could burst onto the field to either "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC, or a soundtrack of blaring car horns.

And last but not least ...

* The D.C. Comics.

Obvious patent issues with this one. But how perfect would it be should the Washingtons haul off and go 3-14 some year?

I say go for it.