Un-killable rivalry

And you thought this couldn't get crazier.

But now we have Bastard Plague outbreaks at both Michigan and Ohio State, which has compelled Michigan to cancel all team activities plus its last home game against Maryland this weekend,. And which in turn has put the annual Michigan-Ohio State lovefest in peril.

Which, if Michigan still has diseased people in its camp, would leave Ohio State shy of the six games it needs to qualify for the Big Ten championship game.

Oh, it's a perfect hash now, this ball of mess they're calling the Big Ten football "season." And it's going to get even hash-ier if Big Ten athletic directors bend the rules and let Ohio State go ahead and play for the title anyway -- which is what Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez hinted could happen because the Buckeyes are a lock for the College Football Playoff right now, and how could the CFP committee let a team that didn't even play in its conference title game play for the national title?

Holy schnikies. Maybe they should have just canceled the season.

That said, not everything looks like a Twilight Zone episode these days. I mean, Michigan and Ohio State still don't like each other.

And so you let's bring in ESPN college football analyst Kirk Herbstreit, who played quarterback for the Buckeyes long ago in the Before Time. Herbie, the other day, suggested Michigan might use their Plague outbreak as a way to worm out of the showdown with his Buckeyes, on account of the Wolverines were likely to get ball-peened again by the mighty Scarlet and Gray.

In other words: Michigan's chicken, boys and girls. To put a rather fine point on it.

This seems unlikely given that Jim Harbaugh, a Michigan Man, would never back down from a fight with those Ohio degenerates, even if he is 0-5 against them and has lost the last two meetings by 23 and 29 points, respectively. He's a regular Black Knight when it comes to The Rivalry, shouting "Right! I'll do you for that!" even though the Buckeyes have hacked off all four of his limbs.

But a Buckeye is a Buckeye forever, and so of course Herbie would imply cowardice on the part of those Michigan degenerates. He apologized, but come on. Does anyone think he means it?

Besides, there could actually be a more sinister plan at work, the Wolverines being the Wolverines.

Anyone given a thought to the notion the Wolverines -- 2-4 with nothing to lose -- were intentionally infecting themselves to get the Ohio State game canceled? Thereby potentially screwing the Buckeyes out of the Big Ten title and the CFP?

I mean, it is The Rivalry. Surely more spiteful things have happened.