And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the kicking-2020-out-on-its-hindparts Blob feature of which critics have said "Can we kick the Blob feature out on its hindparts, too?", and also, "What's more annoying than 2020? This.":
1. "Can we kick Alvin Kamara out on his hindparts? Because he WON'T STOP SCORING TOUCHDOWNS!" (The Vikings)
2. "Dammit, Alvin! STOP!" (Also the Vikings)
3. In other news, Dwayne Haskins of the Washington We've Got No Idea What To Name This Team had himself a week: He broke 'Rona protocols, played horribly and was cut from the team. But first he got benched in favor of some guy named Taylor Heineken.
4. Heidelberg.
5. OK, Heinicke, then. Yeah. That's it.
6. Maybe.
7. Meanwhile, the Colts!
8. Rolled to a 24-7 halftime lead and clinched the playoffs with a rollicking win over the Pittsburgh Stee-
9. "Crap!" (The Colts)
10. "Crap!" (The Browns, upon losing to the 1-13 Jets)
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