And now, just in time for your next Pie Break, a special holiday edition of The NFL In So Many Words, of which the critics have said nothing because they didn't know it was coming. Also their mouths are still full of pie:
1. God, the Lions are awful. Can't we get someone else to play football on Thanksgiving for once?
2. God, the Cowboys are awful. Can't we get someone else to play football on Thanksgiving for once?
3. Combined records of the four teams that played on Thanksgiving: 15-29.
4. Combined number of viewers who turned off the games before they were over to watch "Elf," "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" or "Christmas Vacation": I don't know, but it was a lot. A LOT.
That's it for today, boys and girls. Go eat some more pie.
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