List-ing to port

It's List Season again here on the celestial calendar, as the closing-time lights come up and 2019, drunk as a lord on his year's high-octane crazy, starts to warble "Show Me The Way To Go Home."

This means a couple of things.

One, it means an endless stream The 50 Greatest Movies Of All Time lists, and The 50 Worst Movies Of All-Time lists, and The 50 Worst Star Wars Movies Of All Time lists, Which Is Every Single One Except For The Original Star Wars According To Every Crashing Star Wars Bore In America.

(I mean, come on. These people actually talk about the Star Wars "canon." As if it's ecclesiastical or something, and not what it is, which is a science-fiction movie franchise that has made George Lucas an immense wad of cash.)

And two?

It means the Blob feels compelled to jump fully clothed into the madness with a List of its own. It will call this list "The 10 Dumbest Things In Sports In 2019":

10. Everyone saying "Tiger Woods is 23 years old again!" after he won the Masters, then realizing he was not, in fact, 23 again, when he went on to miss the cut in the PGA Championship, miss the cut in the British Open and finish 21st in the U.S. Open..

9. Antonio Brown being so annoying the Steelers didn't want him anymore, even though he was the best receiver in football.

8. Antonio Brown signing with the Raiders for goo-gobs of money, then being so annoying the Raiders cut him before he'd even played a game for them.

7. Antonio Brown, etc., etc.

6. Conor McGregor, etc., etc.

5. The Colts saying "We stand behind our 46-year-old kicker who can't kick anymore, because he's still better than Cody Parkey, dammit."

4. The NBA's 19-year-old rule, because everyone knows 18-year-olds are too immature to play in the NBA, even if they're LeBron James-level good. This is on account of they haven't achieved that magical Wisdom Growth Spurt that happens when they turn 19.

3. (tie) The world chess championship, in which neither combatant (Magnus Carlsen and Fabiano Caruana) managed to win a single game in regulation, namby-pambying through 12 straight draws. And, the National Spelling Bee, in which the judges finally said "Screw this, nobody's gonna miss a word" and declared an eight-way tie for the title.

2. NFL officiating.

1. NFL officiating. (Because it's worth repeating.)