Put him in, Coach

The dream lives, America. Or maybe you're the only person in these United States who wouldn't want to see Jerry Jones line up at wide receiver for the Cowboys.

Or how about Robert Kraft? Yeah, that's ticket. Robert Kraft running one of Gronk's old seam routes, huffing and puffing, old-man legs shaking, wishing he hadn't misspent his youth trolling seedy massage parlors in Florida strip malls.

Yes, the world would be a better place, or at least yea more hilarious, if NFL owners would do what that hockey guy did the other night. Because who wouldn't want to see his or her team's owner suit up and say "Put me in, Coach"?

That's what Robbie Nichols did in a Federal Prospects Hockey League game, because the team he owns, the Elmira (N.Y.)  Enforcers, was down to about five players because of injuries and so forth. So Nichols literally took one for his team, lacing on the skates and lengthening the bench for the Enforcers as they took on the Danbury (Ct.) Hat Tricks.

Now, Nichols is 55 years old, but it's not like he never played the game. A former Philadelphia Flyers draft pick back when dinosaurs strode the earth, he played a pile of years in the American Hockey League and the old International Hockey League. Alert Fort Wayne Komets fans will recall him skating against their team with the hated Kalamazoo Wings, and also with the San Diego Gulls.

In fact, Nichols was one of the big guns on the Gulls team that, 27 years ago, won 62 games and then got swept by the Komets in the IHL Turner Cup finals.

That was 1992-93. And Nichols was already 29 years old then.

Now, he's, well, not 29 anymore. But by God he can still go top shelf on you. Or hit you in stride tape-to-tape. Or skate his wing like ... like ...

Well. Like a 55-year-old exec, presumably.

I mean, let's not get carried away here. It's not like Nichols is or ever was Gretzky, after all. Just like, if you suit up Jerry and split him out wide down there in Dallas, it's not like he's going to beat the corner on a go route.

Nah. More likely, he'd wait until the game was over, seek out the nearest available TV camera (because there's nothing Jerry likes better than an available TV camera) and talk about how, by golly, Jason Garrett's all right by him.

Just like normal, in other words.