Monday, December 30, 2019

A few brief thoughts on NFL Week 17

And  now, this season's final edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the nutrient-packed, vitamin-fortified Blob feature of which critics have said "Look at all those nutrients and vitamins!", and also "Now take them out of here as quickly as you can!":

1. It's Monday morning and the Patriots have locked up the No. 2 seed in the playo--

2. Wait ... what?

3. The Dolphins?

4. In FOXBOROUGH??

5. "Finally! Our long national nightmare is over!" (Detroit fans)

6. "Heh." (The Pistons, the Red Wings, the Tigers)

7. In other news, the Super Bowl bound Browns!

8. Also, the Super Bowl bound Cowboys!

9. "Hooray! My job is safe now!" (Freddie Kitchens, Jason Garrett)

10. "Heh." (Browns, Cowboys)

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