Time now to check in on baseball's irredeemable sad sacks, the Baltimore Orioles, saddest of all creatures on earth who are not actively dead at the present time.
The good news: The end of the O's-For-Heaven-Sakes' season is just 13 games away.
The bad news: The O's-For-Heaven's-Sakes would have to win seven of those games just to get to 50 wins for an entire baseball season, which is not going to happen.
At 43-106 after 149 games, the O's-For-Heaven's-Sakes are not just a train wreck. They are a British-Commandos-Blowing-Up-The-Bridge-On-The-River-Kwai train wreck.
In any case, they have made themselves home in the Grand Canyon of cellars, the O's-For-Heaven's-Sakes. As of today, September 17, they are 59.5 games behind the first-place Boston Red Sox in the AL East. This means they are out of first by a staggering 40 percent of their total games played. And yet that's not even their most jaw-dropping feat.
That would be the fact that, not only are they 59.5 games out of first, they're a full 24 games out of next-to-last. Twenty-four games out of next-to-last.
Which means they could win all the rest of their games, and the next-to-last Toronto Blue Jays could lose all the rest of their games, and the O's-For-Heaven's-Sakes would still finish last by 11 games.
Oh for heaven's sake.
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