So, Notre Dame 24, Michigan 17 on the first full Saturday of the college football season, and now we know what we know. We know NOTRE DAME IS GOING TO WIN THE NATIONAL TITLE!
Also, FIRE JIM HARBAUGH!
Yes, as surely as day follows night, it's time for that storied tradition in Sportsball World (college football division), Overreaction Sunday. In which the Blob looks at the very first games of the new season and extrapolates completely ridiculous conclusions, and also some that may not be as ridiculous as they sound.
Ready ... set ...
Go:
1. Notre Dame Is Going To Win The National Title!
The itch to over-hype the Irish after a juicy win is one more than a few folks (including, ahem, the Blob) simply can't avoid scratching, so of course it's going to happen this time, too.
First things first: It was a pretty impressive win, especially on the defensive side of the football. New defensive coordinator Clark Lea's D reduced Michigan and its ballyhooed new quarterback Shea Patterson to little more than a squeak; the Michigan offense didn't find the end zone until two minutes remained in the game, and Patterson was harassed all night by a Notre Dame front seven that beat the Michigan O-line briskly about the head and neck, and was every bit the equal of Michigan's much-more-hyped defensive down seven.
Take away the kickoff return touchdown, and Michigan managed just 10 points against the Irish D. And it managed only a field goal until very late.
On the other hand ...
On the other hand, after two impressive scores on its first two drives, Notre Dame's offense didn't do a whole lot, either. Brandon Wimbush was terrific early and then, well, not really. In the second half, the Michigan D all but silenced the Irish, allowing one lonely field goal, five almost as lonely first downs and 67 pretty-damn-lonely-themselves yards.
So ... slow the roll, folks. At least a little, and at least for now.
2. Fire Jim Harbaugh!.
In which the Man Who Would Return The Wolverines To Greatness came up wanting again on the big stage, and in a way that didn't inspire a lot of confidence. The Wolverines lost their starting safety to an undisciplined head hit, flubbed the snap on a field-goal attempt and made hash of clock management late as they tried desperately to get back in a game they'd hardly been in.
Not an impressive showing for the Man Who Would Blah-Blah-Blah. The loss dropped Harbaugh's record to 1-6 against Michigan's fiercest rivals (Ohio State, Michigan State and Notre Dame), leveled the Wolverines' record at a pedestrian 9-9 across their last 18 games and seemed to herald another fine 8-5 or 9-4 autumn.
Not exactly what the Michigan faithful expected when Harbaugh breezed into Ann Arbor full of hope, promise and -- perhaps -- a bit of helium, given the results so far.
On the other hand ...
On the other hand, the hot seat doesn't look all that toasty to the Blob just yet. So stay tuned.
3. Appalachian State Should Immediately Apply For Membership In The Big Ten!
Because, you know, it beat Michigan once, and damn near beat No. 10 Penn State yesterday. The Nittany Lions needed a late Trace McSorley touchdown pass to force overtime, then got an interception in the end zone to seal a 45-38 victory.
On the other hand ...
On the other hand, they're still Appalachian State. So, there's that.
4. Penn State Is Going To Be Terrible Without Saquon Barkley, Just Terrible!
Because, you know, they almost lost to Appalachian State.
On the other hand ...
On the other hand, Appalachian State's program has won over 550 games, claimed three national FCS titles and appeared in the FCS playoffs 20 times. And last year the Mountaineers went 9-4 and shut out Toledo 34-0 in the Dollar General bowl.
So it's not like they're, you know, Whatsamatta U.
5. Cole McDonald Is Going To Win The Heisman!
Don't know who Cole McDonald is?
Well, he's the quarterback at Hawaii. And last night he threw for six touchdowns in a 59-41 win over Navy. Which of course makes him the Heisman frontrunner. Just hand the stiff-arming little goober to him now.
On the other hand ...
On the other hand, he's the quarterback at Hawaii. Which is not Alabama. Or even Ohio State.
Speaking of which ...
Last but not least:
6. Stop! Urban Meyer Has Been Punished Enough!
Which, OK, is not an overreaction. It's just sarcasm.
Because Ohio State 77, Oregon State 31.
Oh, how Urban must have been agonizing as he thought how easily it could have gone the other way if the teams had played for, I don't know, a hundred years or so. Oh, how he must have been regretting, to the depths of his soul, coddling a wife beater all those years.
On the other hand ...
Well. You know.
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