(* -- Stolen from the legendary Dan Jenkins, who used "Saturday's America" as the title for a collection of his Sports Illustrated college football pieces. One of the best book titles ever.)
Anyway ... time now for the Blob to steal its own widely reviled feature, The NFL In So Many Words, and apply it to a college football Saturday. Because you know what they say: You can never have too much of a good thing ...
("Yes! Yes, you can!" -- Thoroughly alarmed Blobophiles everywhere.)
1. The Hoosiers!
2. Are who we thought they were!
3. Hey, look! It's Purdue!
4. (I mean, it looks like Purdue. OK, kinda. I mean, they're laminating somebody. So who knows.)
5. Hey, look! It's Brian Kelly!
6. Finally located Ian Book. Found him in a storage closet with a couple of used Heismans and Rudy's old practice jersey. Said "Oh, yeah, this guy. Forgot we had him."
7. Ohio State 49, Tulane 6.
8. Sample headline: Urban Meyer's Return From Horrible Punishment Saves Buckeyes From Certain Defeat (Insert eyeroll emoji here.)
9. Alabama 45, Texas A&M 23.
10. Oh, wait. This post is about college football.
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