And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the numbingly repetitive Blob feature of which the electorate has said, "If I vote now, will it go away?" and "Hillary vs. Training Wheels Mussolini wasn't bad enough? Who put this crap on the ballot?":
1. Hey, look, the Colts won!
2. Kind of.
3. OK, so they didn't lose, then. Geez, people.
4. Meanwhile, the Patriots won and Tom Brady threw for a bunch of yards and stuff and blah-blah-blah, yada-yada-yada.
5. Pssst. Hey, Ryan Fitzpatrick. Your mom just called.
6. She doesn't believe in you, either.
7. It's Tuesday morning, and now A.J. Green is surrounded by seven Cleveland Browns in the end zone.
8. And he stills makes the catch.
9. Meanwhile, the Patriots ...
10. Blah-blah-blah. Yada-yada-yada.