Monday, November 10, 2014

Bear-ly breathing

More on the NFL tomorrow, when the Blob rolls out the usual So Many Words. But this won't wait.

Rumor has it the Bears are moving back to Decatur, Ill., where they'll again be known as the Staleys. George Halas' rotting corpse will be the coach. They'll wear helmets made out of leather and run the single wing, because, you know, when was the last time an NFL opponent had to prepare for the single wing?

Why, they'll befuddle the bejeebers out of 'em. Or something.

This will work, see, because as much as it sounds like the ultimate Throwback Sunday, every Sunday is pretty much Throwback Sunday in Chicago these days. As in, "Throw Marc Trestman back to the Montreal Alouettes."

The Bears, to put it bluntly, are a forest fire. Jay Cutler, after a promising start under Trestman's guidance, has reverted to being the dour turnover machine America has come to know and love. And a 3-6 record and five losses in six games looks even worse when the latest loss is a 55-14 lay-down against the Packers, the Bears' presumptive ancient rival.

Yeah, right. Dog-vs.-Bone, Hammer-vs.-Nail, Packers-vs.-Bears. Great rivalries we have known, and all that.

How bad was yesterday?

Aaron Rodgers threw six touchdown passes in the first half.  It was 42-0 at halftime. Had it been a high school game, they'd have played the second half with a running clock.

This is what is supposed to happen when the Packers play Wisconsin-Whitewater, not when they play the Bears. But the Bears never showed up, and the Packers rarely fail to. Three hours of quality bloodletting ensued.

Look. It's not like Bears fans haven't seen this sort of thing before. Those of a certain age lived through the Jack Concannon Era, after all. Also the Bobby Douglass Era, the Gary Huff Era, the Bob Avellini Era and the Abe Gibron/Jim Dooley/Not That Neill Armstrong eras.

That's a lot of crummy football to endure. But losing to the Packers without even lifting a hand?

You never want to say that's as bad as it's ever been, because Bears fans have seen some epic bad. But that's as bad as it's ever been.


No comments:

Post a Comment