And now the latest installment of the charming and delightful Blob feature, The NFL In So Many Words:
1. No, Ben Roethlisberger will not start acting like a mere mortal.
2. Twelve touchdown passes in two weeks. And wait 'til he gets the other hand free.
3. Tom Brady!
4. Is finished, I tell you, finished!
5. Well, except when he plays the Broncos. And the Bengals. And the Jets, the Bills, the Bears ...
7. (What Peyton Manning hears every time he steps foot in Foxborough, Mass.)
8. Meanwhile, the Greatest Football Team In The History Of The World, the Dallas Cowboys, lost to the Cardinals in a clever ruse to disguise their real identity.
9. Hey, Eli could never beat the Colts when his brother was quarterback, either.
And last but not least, speaking of Eli's brother:
10. Boo! (Foxborough calling again, Peyton).