And now this week's installment of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature the Times of London called "a crashing, awful bore" and "bloody colonial nonsense":
1. It's Tuesday morning, and Eli Manning just completed another pass to the 49e--
2. (The Blob apologizes for the interception of the previous sent--)
4. (OK, enough about Eli Ma--)
5. Meanwhile, in New England, Tom Brady and the doomed Patriots continued their sad downward spiral, failing to lose for the sixth straight week and, for an 11th straight week, failing to lock up a Super Bowl berth.
6. Meanwhile, in Washington, RG III has been downgraded to RG II, prompting speculation as to when he would be replaced by either Kirk Cousins I or Colt McCoy I.
7. Hey, look, everybody! It's the St. Louis Rams!
8. (Alternate punctuation: "Hey, look, everybody! It's the St. Louis ... Rams?")
9. The Cardinals have the best record in football.
10. No, really.