Here comes the Next Guy

 It's a good thing the Indianapolis Colts gave all that money to Matt Ryan so he could come in and save the day. Otherwise they might have done something useful with it, like lighting it on fire.

Seven weeks in Ryan was leading the NFL in fumbles AND interceptions, and so after the Colts lost to the Tennessee Titans for the umpteen-millionth time (Last Colts victory in the series: 1908), they abruptly announced they were putting the high-priced spread on the shelf. Time to go with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, aka Sam Ehlinger.

So to review: Horsies bring in another solid veteran more long in the tooth than Dracula, puts him behind the Seven Blocks of Grated Parmesan, and discovers that, darn it, 37-year-olds frequently play like 37-year-olds. Well, hey, let's go with the sixth-round draft pick who's never played a real snap!

This is not a slap at Ehlinger, who was absolute fire playing against next week's roster cuts and beige defenses in the preseason. The Blob loved the way he played at Texas, with style and will and the guts of a burglar. And by all accounts, he became a much, much better QB in the offseason simply because he buckled down and worked at it. So it's going to be fun today to see how he stacks up against live ammo.

The Colts have their fingers crossed. Which unfortunately has become a recurring theme in their environs.

Since Andrew Luck abruptly retired they've burned through two Rent-A-Geezers and another guy, Carson Wentz, who only played liked a geezer. Philip Rivers played one season and retired, as geezers will. The Horsies gave up on Wentz after one season. Then it was Ryan's turn.

He didn't even last half a season.

And so, here comes the Next Guy. The Colts hope Ehlinger, more athletic and mobile, will not take as many sacks or fumble as much or throw as many picks. Plus, he's a sixth-rounder, and who can forget that TOM BRADY was a sixth-rounder ...

Brady has always been the patron saint for teams taking down-draft QBs, which is both charming and heartbreakingly naive. Hey, if Brady could do it, the thinking goes, never progressing to the next thought.

Which is that Bill Belichick got flat outright lucky with Brady. It was the dice roll of all dice rolls, because Belichick has been mediocre to plain abysmal since at drafting quarterbacks.

Ehlinger?

Love the guy. Hope he's the guy. But the Colts have been in scramble mode at the position since Andrew Luck abruptly retired right before the season started in 2019, having been at last battered into submission.

The Colts never saw it coming, but in hindsight (which is always eagle-eyed) there surely must have been signs. Luck, to begin with, was a very old 29; as the saying goes, he'd taken multiple beatings, which had not improved morale. And when you consider Luck was always a different sort of cat, with a perspective that strayed well beyond the precise grid of the football field ...

Well. Remember 2018, when the Colts took Quenton Nelson with the sixth pick in the draft?

They could have taken Josh Allen, as an acquaintance pointed out the other day.

We all know what Josh Allen has become. And we all know what Quenton Nelson has become -- an All-Pro pancake machine his first couple of seasons, and now just another gateway to the pocket on the struggling Colts O-line.

One more if-only to contemplate as Slingin' Sam takes his turn the barrel.