Moneyed interests

It’s probably a swipe of the broad brush to say the Big Ten, SEC, Notre Dame and ESPN just decided for everyone else what college football is going to look like going forward. But the Big Ten, SEC, Notre Dame and ESPN just decided for everyone else what college is going to look like going forward.

Which is a 24-team College Football Playoff.

The four entities named above, just hammered out a broadcast deal for said playoff, tentatively scheduled to launch next season. It won’t be finally approved until Dec. 1, but final approval is all but a lock.

This is because the deal with ESPN is expected to be a $300 million haul, and no one in what used to be “college” athletics has ever failed to lunge unbecomingly after every free-floating dollar. It’s how major corporations operate — even ones who style themselves institutions of higher learning.

What this means, ostensibly, is more high-end non-conference clashes and fewer Indiana-vs.-Howard abominations. This is because, in a watered-down CFP ,  teams will be able to lose three or four games and still get into the Big Hoo-Ha.

(Which kinda sucks for the Howards and MAC schools like the Blob’s alma mater Ball State. No more million-dollar guarantee games for you, mid-major losers! And, hey, the Power 4s will still get to raid you for the players you spent a year or so developing! How’s that for a deal?)

Sorry. Where were we again?

Oh, yeah, more CFP dough for more mid Power 4 teams ( and, OK, half a dozen or so Group Of 6 automatic bids). It’ll mean more games for the “student-athletes”  — the season for the national champions will now run uninterrupted from late August to mid January — and the death knell for a whole pile of radial tire, lawn implement and Snoop Dog bowls.

The latter might be the only upside to this, because let’s face it, the world does not need more of 6-6 Directional A&M vs.  5-7 East-Northeast Institute Of Breakfast Technology  in the Carquest Good-And-Plenty Bowl. Plus,  an expanded CFP will also mean the end of conference championship games, which are nothing but a way to squeeze more nickels from the “student-athletes anyway.

Now?

Now the Big Ten, SEC and Notre Dame will get to wring even MORE nickels from their hired hands. And if the Save College Sports or whatever it’s called passes, they’ll have antitrust protection and assurance the hired hands won’t be able to organize like any other workforce in America. Sweet!

As for me …

Well, I miss the days before colleges became Sis-Boom-Bah Inc. — the days of New Year’s Day bowl games and mythical national champions and $1,000 handshakes under the table.

It felt cleaner, somehow. And certainly more human.

Your nothingburger for today

 The WNBA just annoys the hell out of some people. Let’s begin with that home truth today.

Those some people — and you know who they are — see the league as too gay, too black, and mostly too full of women who speak their minds.  Thus, the Some People bash the WNBA as “woke” (because it celebrates diversity and inclusion, those evil Doublemint Twins), racist (look how those mean black girls pick on the white girls!) and … and …

Haters of America!

Yes, that’s the latest.

It’s the latest because the usual suspects — Outkick, Jason Whitlock, even Indiana’s Lieutenant Governor, Micah “I Don’t Like Much Of Anything” Beckwith — are feeding red meat to the masses again. And as usual it’s performance art so contrived and ridiculous you wonder when the hook comes out to drag them off stage.

See, they’ve noticed that both teams in the WNBA finals — the Atlanta Dream and the Golden State Valkyries — leave the floor prior to the National Anthem.  The usual suspects cry that this is a deliberate insult to our great nation, and proof that the WNBA Hates America

If it didn’t, after all, the league would force these ungrateful opinionated women (Opinionated women! The horror!)  to remain on the floor and stand at attention for the anthem. Because, you know, freedom.

And now for the rest of the story, as they say.

The rest of the story is that, first of all, the Dream and Valkyries are not violating leagues rules, as the usual suspects claim. The rules only say that IF a team remains on the floor for the anthem, its players must stand in a respectful manner. But it’s up to the individual teams to decide whether or not they stay on the floor.

Some teams do. Some teams don’t. The Dream and Valkyries do not, and it’s not because they Hate America. It’s because that’s their pregame routine.

Period. End of story.

In fact, if the usual suspects took the time to check it out instead of trying to manufacture outrage, they’d learn the a LOT of basketball teams retire to the locker room before the anthem. This includes a lot of college teams — including Kim Mulkey’s women’s teams, and, back in the day, Bob Knight’s Indiana Hoosiers.

As far as I know, Micah Beckwith and the rest of the clowns never accused them of Hating America. (Although Mulkey, absurdly, came in for some criticism on this very point last year from a few peawits). This is because neither Mulkey nor Knight would ever be mistaken for “woke” lefties. They are, and were, about as red-blooded unawake America, Hell, Yeah! types as you’d ever find.

So, then. Enough of this nonsense. Just call this what it is: Your nothingburger for today.

In these times, after all, it seems we’re required to have at least one.

A few brief thoughts on NFL Week 6

 And now this week’s edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the nostalgic Blob feature of which critics have said “Remember the good old days when this crap didn’t exist?”, and also “I’m nostalgic for that time I fed you a knuckle hoagie”:

1. “Remember when everyone thought we were a Super Bowl team?” (The Rams, after losing at home to the Cardinals — the Cardinals! — to fall to 2-4.)

2. “Remember when everyone thought WE were?” (The Cowboys, after losing to the Packers to also fall to 2-4)

3. “No one remembers that.” (Everyone in America who’s not a Cowboys fan)

4. In other news, the Eagles!

5. Lost again, this time to the Panthers. They’re 2-4 now, too, and have lost Jalen Hurts for the season for a scary reason: Blood clots have developed in his lungs.

6. “Remember when the football gods were smiling on us, and we were winning Super Bowls, and people thought Nick Siriani was a pretty darn good coach? What happened? It’s not that we were still jackwagons despite all that, was it?” ( Eagles fans)

7. “Remember when all the smart guys thought we were washed? Well, look at us now, losers!” (The 6-0 Chiefs)

8. “I miss the days when Caleb Williams was out with the dinged hammy.” (No Bears fan anywhere, after Williams returned, completed 30-of-36 passes — including his first 12 — for 305 yards and a touchdown in Chicago’s 31-23 road win over Atlanta)

9. “Remember when I was a GM?” ( Chris Ballard, after being fired by the Indianapolis Colts the morning after the  Horsies jacked around lost to the previously winless Titans at home)

10. “Remember when I didn’t know I was the next to go?” (Colts head coach Shane Steichen, whose team is 2-4 with road games at unbeaten Minnesota and 4-2 Jacksonville next up)

Requiem time, Part Deux

 Well, THAT was quick.

Forget the question mark in the title of the previous post. It is requiem time in Indy.

This just in: The Colts have fired Greg Ballard, roughly 17 hours after losing to previously winless Tennessee.

Doors standard to follow.

Requiem time?

 This is the end

My only friend, the end …

Oops, sorry. Just rehearsing Chris Ballard’s next number.

And that’s Shane Steichen singin’ harmony.

With a nod, and huge apologies, to Jimmy Morrison and the Doors, of course.

And, sure, maybe I’m being a tad melodramatic here, but, hoo, boy, what the heck was THAT yesterday? Losing at home to the previously winless Tennessee Titans, for cryin’ out loud? Making the Titans defense look like all gnarly and fierce, while Steichen’s and Ballard’s Colts looked worthless and weak?*

(*Gratuitous “Animal House” reference)

Here’s how the Horseshoes lost 26-20 yesterday, at home, to one of the weakest teams in the NFL:

* Gave up a 58-yard punt return to set up one Titans score.

* Gave up another touchdown on a blocked punt return.

* Turned it over three times — twice on Daniel Jones interceptions, once on a Jonathan Taylor fumble — and allowed six sacks.

* Got outscored 26-7 in the second half to blow a 13-0 halftime lead.

No wonder Ballard and Steichen might be tuning up that old Doors standard. 

They came into this season with a distinctly un-subtle mandate from owner Carlie Irsay-Gordon — win or hit the bricks — and now the Colts are 2-4 and the two wins were against 2-4 Houston and a 1-3-1 Washington team that was playing a third-string quarterback from Rutgers. 

(They also pushed the Chiefs to overtime in K.C. before losing 33-30. People are still trying to figure out that one out.)

So now here they are with a slower Daniel Jones (thanks to the Achilles tear that knocked him out last season), a “meh” receiver room and a defense whose best player is a 32-year-old nose tackle who was thinking recreating before this season (DeForrest Buckner). 

After starting 8-1 last season, they’ve gone 2-12 since.

This is surely not what Irsay-Gordon had in mind when, in so many words, she said Ballard and Steichen had to show her something or else.

It’s also not what she had in mind when the fans were sending down boos yesterday afternoon.

Those boos might or might not have been a requiem of sorts for Ballard and Steichen. But at this point, you’ve gotta be leaning toward the former.

What th-?

 OK, OK, O-KAY. Lemme see if I can get all of this straight:

* No. 5 Indiana lost to No. 4 Ohio State by the width of Nick Marsh’s foot.

* For the second week in a row, the No. 1 team — Georgia this time — lost on a walkoff field goal. At home, no less.

* Meanwhile the previous No. 1 team (Texas) lost AGAIN, also at home,  this time to a Florida team that had just been paved by 19 at home by an unranked South Carolina team.

* Also, No. 6 Alabama lost to Tennessee.

* Also, No. 2 Notre Dame flunked its first real test of the season, losing to  No. 8 BYU in Provo because the zebras swallowed their whistles and the timekeeper swallowed whatever it is timekeepers swallow on the last play of the game.

(Translation: Leading 28-24, BYU’s DBs knocked down a Notre Dame receiver in the end zone, stole his lunch money, kicked his schoolbooks into the gutter and made fun of his mom. Oh, and when the play ended with one second left, the timekeeper maybe/possibly was juuust a tad slow on the draw, letting the last second run out. Game over, BYU wins!)

Whew. What an insane, what-th? day in college football.

The No. 1, 2, 5, 6 and 7 teams all lost. The No. 3 team (Miami) needed overtime to beat Florida State. The nation’s two longest winning streaks — Indiana with 22 straight Ws and Notre Dame with 16 — both ended.

And about that Indiana game …

The Hoosiers almost pulled off another fourth-and-ain’t-gonna-make-it gamble, but Josh Hoover was crunched as he threw, and his 30-some-yard pass was offline by three inches or so, leading Marsh too close to the edge of the end zone.

And so Marsh stepped out of bounds as he caught what everyone in Bloomington briefly thought was another game-winning miracle by their Hoosiers. But it wasn’t, and Ohio State survived 19-15 in a game every bit as epic as expected.

It was a game Indiana, which never beats itself, probably beat itself, missing two field goals and turning it over twice. And it turned, really, in the second quarter, when Indiana, already up 7-3, drove to the shadow of Ohio State’s goal.

But on third-and-goal, Hoover failed to see Charlie Becker break wide open in the end zone. Instead he tried to squeeze a throw across the middle to Marsh, who was bracketed by three defenders.

Incomplete. And then Indiana’s kicker came on to cash the gimme 32-yard field goal, and he somehow spanked it off the left upright.

Make the right read, and it’s 14-3 and a very different game. Make the kick, and it’s at least 10-3.

Instead, Ohio State marched back downfield and scored on fourth-and-goal to take a 10-7 lead into halftime. The Buckeyes never trailed again.

And No. 4 survived. And No. 5 didn’t.

But, hey. At least they had plenty of company.

And the winner is …

 … not Indiana.

Sorry, Hoosiers fans. Can’t do it. Would like to, but … just can’t.

I think Ohio State wins today in Bloomington, because the Buckeyes have been laying for this one for a year and also because this is not the Indiana team that beat them a year ago.

This Indiana team is good up front on defense, but not nearly as good on the back side. Which is a problem when the best player in college football is Ohio State wideout Jeremiah Smith. 

This Indiana team does not get the same push up front on offense, which is why it struggled to run the ball against Nebraska last week.

This Indiana team has Josh Hoover at quarterback, who’s pretty good but no Fernando Mendoza. And this Indiana team has Charlie Becker and Nick Marsh, but the receiver corps otherwise is not what it was a year ago.

On the other hand …

On the other hand, when Nick Saban said this week we’ll find out what Indiana is made of today, he apparently missed what happened last week in Lincoln, Neb., when the Hoosiers showed us what they’re made of.

Got down 17- 6 to Nebraska in front of all those howling Cornhusker fans, and then got their mean on. Hoover hit the deep ball twice to Marsh, the defense decided to get relentless, and the Hoosiers gritted out a 20-17.

What that told everyone, or should have, that if you’re going to beat this Indiana team, you’d better step on ‘em and keep steppin’ on ‘em. You’d better kill ‘em dead, because they’re not going to stop coming after you until you do.

Which is why I think OSU wins today, but not by much. Say a touchdown. And IU will still be gettin’ after the Buckeyes when the clock hits zeroes.

I could be wrong, of course. I frequently am. 

But I don’t think so.