Persecution Central

 I can already hear the refrain from Ann Arbor, if Michigan loses at Penn State tomorrow.

(OK, so not really, because the chances of Michigan losing to Penn State are slim and anorexic. I've seen both teams, see, and Michigan's in an entirely different strata. The Spyverines might be in a different strata from everyone, truth be told)

Where was I again?

Oh, right. The refrain from Ann Arbor.

Goes something like this: "Happy now, a**holes?" 

That'll surely be it, because Michigan's feeling picked on these days, and all because a football staffer got caught running a scouting scheme that's been illegal in the college game since 1994. They've actually gotten some of the national media to buy their martyr act by pointing out that Ohio State and Rutgers shared info with Purdue about the Spyverines, too.

"How's that different?" they and their media apologists are demanding.

Well, because Purdue didn't send some goof on its staff to secretly film a future opponent, for one thing.

The goof in question, Connor Stalions, did. This was before Michigan fired him because, you know, it was shocked, shocked at what the kid was doing. And how dare all these other schools who are just SCARED OF WHAT JIM HARBAUGH HAS WROUGHT suggest otherwise.

Gee, I don't know. Maybe because Stalions was a paid staffer? And was flying all over the country illegally gathering intel?

Imagined conversation in the Michigan football complex:

"Hey, where's that kid we hired?"

"Gee, I don't know, Jim."

"Well, how come he's never around?"

"Beats me. I don't know nothin' 'bout that, Coach. I mean he WAS standing next to me on the sideline last Saturday. And there's video of him tellin' me stuff/. But we don't know nothin' 'bout that, either, right, Jim?"

"Hell, no. Why would I know what the people on my staff are doing?" 

That's the story Michigan, Harbaugh and their media acolytes are trying to sell us. That's why they're deep into Righteous Indignation mode up there in Ann Arbor, and warning the Big Ten that by God it had better follow due process to the end before handing down any punishment.

The "or else" being implied, of course.

And, no, I don't know what the "or else" might be. Throwing a squadron of carpet-bombing lawyers at the conference, presumably. Or threatening to go somewhere a mighty institution like Michigan is appreciated, not ganged up on by rivals who are (let's face it!) just jealous.  

Ah, the persecution complex. It's strong in this one.

It's strong everywhere now, to be honest. Hard to remember a time when there were so many martyrs, self-styled and otherwise, roaming the land -- led of course by our Former Guy, blameless victim of corrupt judges and a corrupt DOJ and a corrupt president and a corrupt free press and, gee, just general corrupt-y corrupt corruptness. Liars, all of them!

But not him. Oh, no. He is Truth Itself, haven't you heard?

Yes, sir. America is Persecution Central now, apparently. So why wouldn't Michigan play that card?

And why wouldn't the rest of us respond, "Ah, shuddup"?