And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the trap-gamin' Blob feature which cruelly raises hopes only to dash them, and of which critics have said "I hope this Blob feature disappears through a tear in the space-continuum, and also "Dammit! It didn't!":
1. "Omigod! We're gonna beat the Lions! Maybe Matt Eberflus isn't such a terrible coach after all!" (Bears fans)
2/ "Dammit!" (Also Bears fans, after Bears blow a 12-point lead with four minutes to play and lose 31-26 because Eberflus went into cringe mode and started kicking field goals instead of burying the Lions when his team had the chance)
3. "Omigod! We're gonna beat the Eagles AGAIN!" (Chiefs fans)
4. "Dammir!" (Also Chiefs fans after Patrick Mahomes and Co. fart around and blow a 17-7 halftime lead by going scoreless in the second half, losing to Jalen Hurts and the Eagles 21-17)
5. "Ha! We got this! The Broncos suck!" (Vikings fans, after Josh Dobbs and the Vikes take a 20-9 lead into fourth quarter)
6. "I mean, we suck!" (Also Vikings fans, after the Broncos outscore the Vikings 12-3 in the fourth quarter, led by Russell Wilson, who throws the go-ahead touchdown pass to Courtland Sutton with 1:03 to play in the Broncos' 21-20 win)
7. "The Rams? The Rams? The Rams are chumps!" (Seahawks fans, after Seattle takes a 16-7 lead midway through the third quarter)
8. "I mean, we're chumps!" (Also Seahawks fans, after the Rams score the last 10 points of the game and win 17-16 when Seattle's Jason Myers misses a 55-yard field goal attempt with three seconds to play)
9. "Omigod! We scored!" (Jets fans, after their sadsack football team scores a touchdown late in the first half of a 32-6 loss to the Bills)
10. "Omigod! We won!" (Giants fans, after their even sadder sack football team beats the Commanders 31-19)
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