F. Scott Fitzgerald was wrong

 ... because Bobby Petrino just said, "Neener-neener-neener, dude."

Turns out there are second acts in American life, no matter what F. Scott said. Or, in Petrino's case, third, fourth and fifth acts as well.

This upon the news that the University of Arkansas has hired Petrino as its new offensive coordinator, despite all that unpleasantness from a decade ago. You remember that, right? No? So you've forgotten, the way Arkansas has?

Well, let's refresh your memory.

Eleven years ago, see, when Bobby Petrino was the head football coach at Arkansas and a married man, he started cattin' around with a woman half his age. Even hired her to a university position -- without, of course, telling anyone she was his mistress, which was a glaring violation of school policy.

Nonetheless, everything was going swimmingly until the day Petrino and his squeeze decided to go for a ride on his motorcycle. There was an accident, and Petrino ended up with four broken ribs and a broken vertebra in his neck. The young woman, thankfully, was not injured.

Despite his injuries, however, Petrino tried his damnedest to hide the fact she was on the bike with him, because then the beans would be spilled about their relationship. Even told passersby not to call 911, and waited until the Arkansas State Police were about to release their accident report before finally admitting he'd had a passenger who was a university employee and ... other things.

The ensuing scandal got him fired for cause by Arkansas. The president who signed off on it was named Donald R. Bobbitt.

Who also signed off on re-hiring Petrino, seeing how he's still the university president.

Now, I'm sure this is the part where you say, geez, Mr. Blob, it's been 11 years and people change and everyone deserves forgiveness if they are truly repentant. I get that. And I'm not saying Arkansas should have cast Petrino into outer darkness forever.

What I'm saying is it's passing strange the way life circles back on itself sometimes. And that if you're good at something -- and, listen, Bobby Petrino can coach football -- you never really suffer for your sins.

Or at least not for every long.

Petrino, after all, went almost immediately from Arkansas to the head coaching job at Western Kentucky. Then it was on to Louisville, where he got to coach Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson. Offensive coordinator jobs at UNLV and Texas A&M followed.

Now he's back in Fayetteville, and it's all good with Donald R. Bobbitt 'n' them. The Razorbacks just slogged through a 4-8 season, after all, and priorities are priorities. And so welcome back, Bobby, and don't you worry none about that statute of limitations on shame. Seems it just ran out, conveniently enough.

Of course, in a time when folks who used to take guff refuse to take it anymore, Donald R. Bobbitt 'n' them might get a little pushback for dipping into the Sleazy Horndogs We Have Known pool. Women especially have become notorious non-guff takers (and it's about time, frankly). And so hiring Petrino is likely to go over like a lead balloon in some quarters of campus.

Or, maybe not.

I mean, 4-8 is 4-8. And that dog just won't hunt.