Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Mascot time!

 Those who religiously follow the Blob ("Religiously? That's pushing it," you're saying) know it is a certified Mascot Appreciation Zone, and the weirder the better. It's why my favorite mascots include that red thing at Western Kentucky, Chauncey the Chanticleer at Coastal Carolina and even creepy mascots like the Demon Deacon at Wake Forest and Purdue Pete ("He's got lifeless eyes!") at Purdue.

But you know what's the weirdest/creepiest mascot yet?

It's Popsy the Pop-Tart or whatever his name is, the official mascot of the upcoming Pop-Tarts Bowl.

That's because Popsy-or-whatever will be the first edible mascot. No, really! He'll be an actual giant Pop-Tart, but with a face and little arms and legs and what-not. But (to quote Mac Davis in "North Dallas Forty") we haven't even gotten to the weird part yet!

Which is, at the end of the game, the winning team will get to eat ol' Popsy. No, really!

"OK, now THAT'S creepy," you're saying now.

Oh, I don't know. What could possibly be creepy about a bunch of football players engaging in symbolic cannibalism to celebrate a bowl victory?

And wouldn't it be great if Popsy suddenly became self-aware and started running for his life? 

"Later, boys, I'm takin' my frosted strawberry ass outta here!" Popsy cried, beating feet toward the far end zone ...

It would be reminiscent, kind of, of something a friend of mine said he witnessed years ago after the Old Oaken Bucket game in Bloomington. Purdue had ball-peened Indiana as it had a habit of doing in those days, and as the aforementioned Purdue Pete made his way off the field, a handful of vengeful Indiana fans surrounded him and took his sledgehammer away from him.

Then they started chasing him with it, Purdue Pete's giant papier-mache head wobbling back and forth as he took panicked flight.

Now, I don't know if that story is true, sort of true or greatly embellished. But just the thought of Purdue Pete trying to run with that giant head wobbling around makes me chuckle.

As does the thought of ol' Popsy running away from all those Pop-Tart cannibals.

Ah, mascots. They do bring such joy.

No comments:

Post a Comment