Translu(nacy)

 Time now to check in with Hysteria Watch, the Blob's just-invented mechanism for keeping tabs on the latest trends among the pitchfork-and-torch set, who never met an imaginary monster they couldn't rally the gullible around.

It seems trans athletes are their latest hobby horse, joining Critical Race Theory, mentioning gay people in classrooms (it's called "grooming," apparently) and the dadgum gummint coming to take our guns.

Now trans athletes are zooming up the hysteria charts. Especially in Ohio.

Where the Ohio House just approved a bill requiring genital inspections to keep transgender athletes from competing in girls sports -- because obviously this is a HUGE PROBLEM in Ohio, and those sneaky transgenders will infiltrate girls sports in that state unless legislators ACT NOW.

This, of course, is completely insane, especially since there are no fully formed guidelines as yet for this un-amended edict. Will the parents of one girl athlete be able to force a more skilled teammate to prove she's a girl, angling for more playing time for their little Susie? Because don't think that couldn't, or wouldn't, happen.

On the other hand, because the bill is as yet un-amended, there's the possibility Ohio's Senate will get a sudden attack of brainwave activity and/or compassion and radically water it down. One would hope, anyway.

But you never want to count out hysteria these days, especially among those of a certain political lean. So it's not unreasonable to think Ohio, in order to protect girls, could pass a law forcing them to prove they're girls in the most intimate and demeaning way possible.

Think about that for a moment. If you can, that is, without losing your mind entirely.

The whole idea is not only draconian but medieval, and perhaps (blessedly) unenforceable as well. I can't imagine any doctor worth his medical degree willingly consenting to such a charade. I can more easily see him defying the law by, instead of conducting the required Larry Nassar-esque examination, simply closing his office door and saying "Yeah, you're a girl. Where's the form I have to sign?"

The problem here, as usual, is that legislators are offering an outlandish solution to a non-existent problem. Transgenders make up less than 1 percent of the American population. There's absolutely zero evidence they're beating down doors to invade girls sports and keep little Susie on the sidelines. And there are already rules in place among some athletic entities, including the NCAA, that prohibit transgender athletes from competing if their testosterone levels are too high.

This includes Lia Thomas from Penn, the transgender swimmer who has become Public Enemy No. 1 in certain precincts because she won the NCAA championship in the 500 freestyle in March -- even though her testosterone levels were well within NCAA guidelines.  . 

And in her other two events?

Well. She finished, um, fifth and eighth. 

Fifth and eighth!

Total domination, by God. And totally a "threat."