Today's questions

 Which all involve Deshaun Watson, whose story continues to get seedier and more twisted, what with the New York Times reporting that (with the aid of the Houston Texans) he visited 66 massage therapists in 17 months ...

Question the First: What normal person visits 66 massage therapists in 17 months? 

(Answer: No normal person visits 66 massage therapists in 17 months. Man's clearly got a problem.)

Question the Second: And what normal person allegedly waves his tallywhacker at a whole pile of those therapists?

(Answer: See answer to Question the First)

Question the Third: Are the Browns the dumbest franchise in history for, despite all of the above, agreeing to pay the guy $230 million over five years>

(Answer: Yes.)

(Also answer: But we already knew that.)

Question the Fourth: Are the Browns also creepy and reptilian because they never bothered to talk to any of Watson's accusers before signing him (this is commonly known as "vetting"), and also because they structured his deal to protect him from a possible suspension?

(Answer: The hell do you think?)

Question the Fifth: What should Baker Mayfield do if Watson gets suspended, seeing how the Browns have left him to twist in the wind?

(Answer: Wait until the very next day, and then announce he's taking "a mental health break" from the game -- thereby leaving the Browns without a viable quarterback, and jerking them around the way they've jerked him around.)

And last but not least ...

Question the Sixth: Speaking of suspensions, what in the name of Sexual Misconduct Is Something We Take Very Seriously is the NFL waiting for?

(Answers: Christmas. A 25th accuser to come forward, because that would be the magic number or something. A Million Woman March to descend on Roger Goodell's office, pound on his door and say "What the hell, man?")