Friday, June 3, 2022

Bee, plus

 I'll put this in NASCAR terms this morning, for those of you who'll see the words "National Spelling Bee" and flee the premises because it's like, you know, spelling, and that lives next door to grammar, and who needs school junk on the third of June?

So, let's say it this way: The National Spelling Bee had its first-ever green-white-checker finish last night.

In other words, it went to a spell-off, and a 14-year-old from San Antonio (Harini Logan) beat a 12-year-old (Vakrim Raju) by correctly spelling 21 of 26 words in 90 seconds. Vakrim got 15 of 19 right n the same time.

Don't know if the NSB people went this route because of what happened a few years ago, when eight champions were crowned because the little brainiacs basically defeated the dictionary. They all kept spelling every word right, even the made-up ones, and finally the organizers said "Screw it, then, ya little goobers. You can be co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-champions for all we care."

And so, the spell-off. Which, like the green-white-checker in NASCAR, the Blob has mixed feelings about.

On the one hand, at least someone (as opposed to someones) actually won. 

On the other ... well, Harini won despite misspelling FIVE WORDS.

This just seems wrong to me.

I want to see the nation's champion speller win because she beat her opponent over the head with "cernuous." Or "auguillette." Or "ba'mla'hoc," which is a word I just made up but which sounds kinda Klingon-y to me.

It means "A freaking spell-off? Come on, man!"

Indeed.

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