The NBA Finals kicked off on the west coast last night, and you know what that means. It means we get to learn again the formula M = DE2, and its corollary, OMIGOD (TEAM NAME) IS UNBEATABLE!!
"M = DE2" is short for "Momentum Doesn't Exist." The corollary, as of last night, is OMIGOD THE CELTICS ARE UNBEATABLE!!"
That's because they went out to Golden State's barn last night and got down 15 late in the third quarter, and then holy crap did you SEE that?
Yes, we did. We saw the Celts blow away the Warriors 40-16 in the fourth quarter, and saw 36-year-old Al Horford stick six threes on his way to 26 points, and saw the Celtics take Game 1 120-108. The 40-16 fourth quarter was the most lopsided final 12 minutes in NBA Finals history. And it happened even though Steph Curry scored eleventy-hundred points for the Warriors, although it was actually 34.
It also happened even though the Warriors hit 19 threes as a team, which is completely ridiculous.
And so of course the living-in-the-moment narrative now is the Celtics ain't pretty but they sure are gritty, and the Warriors won't be able to match their grit, and Boston's D will prevail because it will wear down the elegant Warriors in a seven-game series they way it eventually wore them down last night.
This being the NBA, where every game is new miniseries, you can probably forget about all of that.
Because you know in Game 2 Curry will go for eleventy-hundred-and-one points, and the Warriors will drop 29 threes, and Golden State will win 176-12 or something. And the narrative will instantly become Boston can't sustain enough defense over a seven-game series to stop the Warriors, and that's why the Warriors win this.
Then everyone will go back to Boston for Game 3, and ...
Well. You know.
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