Sunday, December 19, 2021

Blue Christmas

 Now here was a Christmas present, at least if you're a member of the Horsie set.

No, not that Horsie set, with the six-story hats and the Twin Spires ("Look! There's two of 'em!") and that song by Dan Fogelberg, plus withers and fetlocks and Robitussin mint juleps and such.

No, sir. The Horsie set we're talkin' is the Indianapolis Colts Horsie set, and it doesn't get better than it did for them last night. They got the Evil New England Patriots in the house at Lucas Oil Stadium, and Jonathan Taylor left tire tracks all over 'em in a key 27-17 victory over a team that didn't look like it was going to lose another game this year.

And the best part, if you're a Colts fan?

They did it by stealing a riff off Darth Hoodie himself, aka Bill Belichick.

Remember a couple of weeks ago, when the Patriots beat the Bills in a wind tunnel in Buffalo?

The wind was blowing so hard Dorothy and Toto blew past everyone and landed in Schenectady, so Darth Hoodie decided to go old school. He had his rookie quarterback throw only three passes, unheard of in the modern NFL or, really, anytime beyond the 1920s. Instead the Patriots lined up and hit the Bills in the mouth, nose, eyes and throat, grinding out 222 rushing yards in a14-10 win that looked like it came straight from the Duluth Eskimos playbook.

Colts head coach Frank Reich must have liked the looks of that.

Because, see, he did the same thing to Belichick and the Patriots last night. Carson Wentz only threw 12 passes, completing five for 57 yards. Taylor, meanwhile, ran all over the Pats, lugging it 29 times for 170 yards and a touchdown. As a team, the Colts ran the football a staggering 39 times for 226 yards, an average of almost six yards per attempt.

Out-Patrioted the Patriots, in other words. First time the Horsies had beaten Belichick in 12 years.

And a Merry Christmas to all.

Or at least to all who worship the horseshoe.

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