A Christmas miracle!

 Once upon a time, Bill Belichick was visited by three ghosts ...

OK. So probably not.

But the Blob likes this explanation for Grumpy McHoodie actually apologizing to the media because he snapped at them after the Patriots got run over by the Colts. So we'll go with it:

Once upon a time, Bill Belichick was visited by three ghosts.

They were the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present and the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come.

"Huh," said Belichick. "I thought you were my special teams coach, my video coach and my strength coach."

 But they weren't. They were there for Belichick's benefit, so there would be a hope and chance he could escape the fate of Jacob Marley, wandering through eternity wearing the chain he forged in life.

"Can't I take them all at once and be done with it?" said Belichick. "We've got the Bills on Sunday."

Alas, no. First, Belichick would get the Ghost of Christmas Past, which showed him Spygate and Deflategate and his unfortunate stint in Cleveland with the Browns. Also, old Fezziwig was in there somewhere, maybe posing as Bill Parcells.

After that, the Ghost of Christmas Present took Bill to Bob Cratchit's house, or maybe the house of one of the sports reporters he grumped at after the loss to the Colts.

"Huh," Belichick said. "They're real people with families and everything. Who knew?"

Finally, the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come appeared, whom Belichick feared the most. He showed Belichick a Super Bowl far in the future, when 69-year-old Tom Brady beat Belichick's Patriots 75-12. Then the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come showed Belichick his grave, which was in Indianapolis next to Peyton Manning's statue.

Belichick wept.

"Please, Spirit!" he cried. "I am not the man I was! Spare me this cruel fate!"

After which the Ghost vanished, and Belichick woke up in his own bed, and he threw a wad of cash at that kid to go buy the giant turkey hanging in the window in the next street but one. Then he showed up at his presser the day after being all out of sorts with the media and ... apologized.

"Look, fellas, I apologize if it seemed like I was a little short with you after the game," he said (and, yes, this is the actual quote). "Obviously (it was) a frustrating game ... Clearly we had problems in every area ...

"It's not your fault. It was a frustrating game."

Then he said he would endeavor to assist their families in any way, and that Tiny Tim would walk again.

The reporters present were astounded. They were also mystified.

"Who the (bleep) is Tiny Tim?" they said.