Thursday, December 9, 2021

The asphalt of wrath

You gotta hand it to those folks in Oklahoma. They know how to keep their mad on.

It's almost two weeks now since Lincoln Riley abruptly said goodbye to Norman and headed west for all those swimmin' pools and movie stars in El Ay, and Oklahoma fans are still grinding their molars to dust. How do you leave a perennial College Football Playoff contender (and a tradition so storied it requires several leather-bound volumes to hold it all) for USC?

Man, USC hasn't had any tradition since Pete Carroll left. Why, the Trojans can't even give Notre Dame a fight anymore.

In any case, a certain Oklahoma state rep has decided to do something about it all.

What state Sen. Bill Coleman has proposed is a bill that would designate a stretch of remote Oklahoma road the Lincoln Riley Highway in the departed coach's honor. Not that it would actually be an honor. See, Coleman wants to name three inches of the westbound lane of State Highway 325 after Riley -- and not just any three inches, but the last three inches before it exits Oklahoma.

Yeah, it's silly. Yeah, the Oklahoma lege should be concerning itself with matters of more import, like protecting Oklahoma schoolkids from any American history that makes white people look bad.  

But come on, now. State leges do stuff like this all the time. Indiana, for instance, the lege once famously tried to legislate the value of pi. In Pocatello, Idaho, it's illegal not to smile. And so on.

Coleman's Asphalt of Wrath measure fits neatly into this tradition, and the Blob salutes him. His proposal is not only inventive, but it's a neat little dig besides. Shame on you if you didn't chuckle.

Of course, you're safe if you didn't. As far as the Blob knows, there are no ordinances in America that require citizens to have a sense of humor.

Although there should be.

No comments:

Post a Comment