Friday, October 16, 2020

Meanwhile, in Indianapolis ...

And here we go again:

The Indianapolis Colts have announced that several people in the organization have tested positive for the Bastard Plague.

They've therefore closed their practice facility.

This is happening two days before they're supposed to play the Bengals downtown in Lucas Oil Stadium, in the middle of a current surge in Plague cases (and a blithe "we're still open as hell, just wear a mask" response from Indiana governor Eric Holcomb) that has led both Ohio and Illinois to restrict travel from Indiana.

Which has led the Blob to imagine this exchange among our neighboring states:

Illinois: "Don't make us build a wall, Indiana."

Ohio: "What Illinois said."

Michigan: "Not sure we want you up here, either."

Kentucky: "Hell, come on down here! We're like you! We don't give a crap if you get sick, either!"

Indiana: "But ... you're Kentucky."

Kentucky: "So?"

Indiana: "So, thanks but no thanks -- and as for Ohio, Illinois and Michigan, fine! We didn't want to visit your crummy states anyway! We'll go to Canada instead!"

Canada: "Yeah, don't think so, hosers."

Indiana: "It's HOOSIERS, dammit! Hoosiers!"

UPDATE: OK, so the Colts are NOT diseased after all.

Followup testing revealed the four members of the organization showing red were false positives, and so everything is cool and today's game is on again. Why the Colts jumped the gun on their announcement before a followup test was run remains a very good question, however.

But Ohio and Michigan still aren't gonna let us roam around their states without a leash. Which is probably still smart.

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