And now a special Thanksgiving week edition of The NFL In So Many Words, a thankfully brief, if chronic, Blob feature which critics have called "a veritable feast of idiocy," and also "a turkey with all the trimmings, including giblets, whatever the hell they are":
1. Aww, look at Dwayne Haskins over there, taking selfies with the fans.
2. Aww, look at Joe Theismann over there, shouting at clouds and shaking his bony fist at those damn kids on his lawn and what-not.
3. "I AM SHOUTING AT CLOUDS AND SHAKING MY BONY FIST AT THOSE DAMN KIDS ON MY LAWN AND WHAT-NOT!" (Joe Theismann)
4. "OK, boomer!" (The fans taking selfies with Dwayne Haskins)
5. "Hey! He's not Boomer, I'm Boomer!" (Boomer Esiason)
6. (Also Chris Berman)
7. Meanwhile, the Bears are thankful for the Giants, the Washington Football Club is thankful for the Lions, and the Bengals are thankful this will all be over soon.
8. Also meanwhile, Lamar Jackson continues to never, ever, ever be a successful NFL quarterback.
9. "Well, he won't be!" (Mel Kiper Jr.)
10. "OK, boomer!" (Everyone else)
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