Which is not the same as "fake news." Fake news is made-up news, such as when President Donald J. "Donny" Trump says ... well, pretty much anything. Non-news is true, but it just doesn't matter.
And so to the NBA All-Star Game, which did not matter, and which was basketball only if you turned your head at a certain angle and squinted real hard. In this year's version, the West All-Stars beat the East All-Stars 192-182. The East stars took 137 shots in 48 minutes. The West stars squeezed off 143. Game MVP Anthony Davis took 39 by himself, finishing with an All-Star game record 52 points.
There might have been a defensive play made. Observers were unsure, and the evidence was unclear.
"Was that a defensive play?" one observer asked, in much the way you might ask "Was that Bigfoot?"
And, OK, so I jest. Of course there were no defensive plays. It's the NBA All-Star game.
Which has given the Blob a deliciously subversive idea.
You know how the dunk contest has pretty much become a joke, because all the gimmicks have been used up and MJ, Dr. J and Dominique Wilkins aren't in it anymore?
Well, the All-Star game itself is a joke, too. But maybe, like the dunk contest, a gimmick or two could revive it for awhile.
What if you put a couple of guys on each team whose sole assignment was to play defense? Like, maniacal, ridiculously-inappropriate-to-the-occasion defense? And what if one of the coaches, unannounced, played a full-court press for an entire quarter?
Sure, the players would hate it. They'd bitch and moan and say the All-Star Game wasn't intended to include defense, that it's basically just a showcase for players to exhibit their mad offensive skills. But that would be half the fun!
I mean, come on. It would.