Thursday, February 16, 2017

Requiem for a bracket

So apparently the tradition of the President of the United States picking an NCAA Tournament bracket will die with President Obama, along with much else.

(A plan ... adulthood ... general sanity ... the Blob could go on)

Anyway, that's the word from Three Rings Of Fun, aka the Trump White House. The 45th president, Donald J. "Donny" Trump, will not be filling out a bracket for ESPN this year.

It's a development, of course, that all but cries out for a punchline. Being the occasionally mean-spirited entity it is, the Blob has helpfully provided a few, under the headline "Reasons Why President Trump Will Not Be Filling Out A Bracket":

1. Already surrounded by enough Madness.

2. Nation might discover he can't spell "Gonzaga."

3. Too easy to refute him when he claims to have picked every game correctly.

4. Putin advised him not to do it.

5. His all-time favorite player, Christian Laettner, isn't playing.

("The chest-stomping. Very impressive!" -- President Trump)

6. Although his second all-time favorite player, Grayson Allen, will be.

("The tripping. Very, very impressive!" -- President Trump)

7. Will interfere with national security meetings at wedding receptions.

8. Not enough opportunities to gloat some more over his "very impressive" election victory.

9. Terrorists might show up, because, you know, terrorists are everywhere.

10. Trump University won't make the field.

("Sad! So unfair!" -- President Trump)

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