I am sorry, Edgar Allan Poe. You no longer have the most fabulous name I ever heard in college football.
And I remember Prince McJunkins.
No, the Army wide receiver must now cede the stage, because here comes the name that was all over the interwhatsis yesterday: Kobe Buffalomeat.
He's a 285-pound offensive lineman from Kansas who signed with Illinois State yesterday, and the best line of the day came from Buffalomeat himself.
His name? Why, he was named for Kobe Bryant, of course.
Which of course ignores the part of his name that is sheer awesomeness, and especially sheer American awesomeness. Native Americans, after all, are the only real Americans. Everyone else is just a poser from somewhere else.
(Something the Resident of the United States might have considered before issuing his sweeping not-in-response-to-anything-in-particular travel ban targeting Muslims. But that would require some perspective, and the Resident has none. Everything's a forest fire to him. Another Blob for another day. perhaps)
Anyway ... back to Buffalomeat.
He became such a hit yesterday that a producer from the Jimmy Kimmel show called, inquiring about an interview. Meanwhile, the most fervent hope of every American is that he blows up at Illinois State and winds up in the NFL, where the endorsement possibilities boggle the mind.
Some of them might not even be completely tasteless -- although Madison Avenue doesn't exactly have a sterling track record in that regard.
In any case, America will be watching Buffalomeat. And if he does blow up, those of us who live in Indiana will be hoping that please-please-please the Colts draft and sign him.
I mean, Andrew Luck needs all the protection up front he can get. And Buffalomeat would certainly be an upgrade from what he's working with now on the OL.
Which would be Dead Meat.