Rocky Mountain Low

 We took the train west through the Rockies to the coast a year ago, and it was a lovely trip: One postcard landscape after another reminding us what a vast and stunning country this is, and how often we don't slow down long enough to appreciate that. Sometimes the leisurely pace is the best pace.

Aaaand, sometimes the train derails and provides a different kind of insight.

This tortured analogy is brought to you this morning by your Indianapolis Colts -- a certified train wreck with feet, but not much of an arm and even fewer functional hands. As we did a year ago, see, the Colts ventured out to the Rockies yesterday. Unlike us, however, they missed out on the majesty. 

What they found instead was a lot of physical comedy and a 31-13 loss to the Denver Broncos that made you surprised when you looked at their record and saw it was 6-8 and not, say, 4-10.

Here are a few things that happened on the way to loss No. 8. Feel free to hum "Yakety-Sax" as you read:

* Jonathan Taylor, no raw rookie, gave away a 41-yard touchdown run when he executed the touchdown football-drop before actually reaching the end zone. The ball rolled out of bounds and Denver took over on the touchback.

* The Colts' Country Crock receiving corps butterfingered another pile of passes, which was again a factor in quarterback Anthony Richardson's 17-of-38, 172-yard 36-passer-rating day.

* Speaking of Richardson, he did what he does: Threw a few lasers that made you say "Wow!", then threw a few balls so atrociously off-target it looked as if the intended receiver was the ghost of Don Hutson. He also gifted the Broncos two interceptions. 

* After the Broncos had jetted past the Colts like they were backing up, Colts coach Shane Steichen sealed for them with some truly baroque goofiness: A gadget play in which Richardson lateraled to wideout Adonai Mitchell, who fiddled around and threw the ball back without really looking, which is why Broncos defender Nick Bonitto picked it out of the air and set sail for the easiest defensive score in history.

* Richardson scored on the Colts first possession, and Indy led 10-0 early. They led 13-7 and had 20-7 all dialed up until Taylor missed the end zone with the football. After that, they laid down and let the Broncos walk over them, giving up 24 straight points in the last quarter-and-change.

I don't know what you can take away from all that, except it was a Rocky Mountain Low that merely reiterated what we already knew about these Colts. One, they're not very good. Two, they're not very smart. Three, the hoped-for success of the Anthony Richardson Experiment becomes more unlikely by the week, if not by the hour.

Four ... they're not very good.

They are, in fact, that aforementioned train wreck, from the front office on down. General manager Chris Ballard might have gotten his man in the 2023 draft, but the Colts clearly had no clue what to do with him once they got him, because they've mishandled Richardson as badly as you mishandle a young player. They also botched the Steichen deal, handing him a quarterback who wasn't ready to play at this level and a roster almost as ill-equipped.

So, what now?

What now is this comedy of errors could still make the playoffs, believe it or not. They have three games left, and none of them are against the Lombardi Packers. In order, they get the Titans, the Giants and the Jaguars. That's a combined record of 8-34 if you're scoring at home.

So am I saying there's still a chance?

With this team? Nope.