And now a special Christmas Eve edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the ho-ho-ho-ing-est Blob feature of which critics have said "Ho-ho-ho THIS, sucka", and also "Peace on Earth, goodwill toward the chimney you hopefully get stuck in":
1. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a New York Giant, a New York Jet and a Las Vegas Raider.
2. "Hey, what about us?" (The New England Patriots, the Cleveland Browns, the Tennessee Titans, the Chicago Bears)
3. Marley was dead, to begin with ...
4. "Not us, though! Nuh-uh! We're alive! Aliiiive, I tell you!" (The Colts, the Cowboys, the Bengals)
5. "And we're GOIN' TO THE SUPER BOWL!" (Cowboys fans)
6. "And I'm still throwin' touchdown passes, though God knows why!" (Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow)
7. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say ...
8. "Hurts is hurt, oh, great, we're toast ..." (Eagles fans)
9. "... Nah, you're just a Jayden roast" (Commanders fans, after rookie sensation Jayden Daniels burned the Eagles with five touchdown passes)
10. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night ...*
(*"Except for us! We're GOIN' TO THE SUPER BOWL!" - Cowboys fans)
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