Bill College

I don't know what to make of the reports Bill Belichick has interviewed for North Carolina's vacant head coaching job, except that maybe he's bored out of his mind. Or maybe because he's dating a 24-year-old, he figures he's down with the younger generation and can relate to Today's College Student.

(Some quick mental images: Bill doing a kegstand at a Kappa Dabba Doo rush party ... Bill, his hair dyed Carolina blue, crowd-surfing at a pregame pep rally ... Bill bopping across campus in board shorts, flip-flops and a Slipknot concert tee. Or maybe J. Cole)

Anyway ...

Anyway, my more serious theory, if indeed I have one, is Bill has surveyed the college football landscape and thought "Hell, this is just the NFL in drag. I can do this." Because let's face it, college football pretty much is the NFL in drag.

Consider:

1. Players, through NIL, are being paid outrageous sums of money.

2. Coaches (or "educators", as they so quaintly used to be called) are being paid outrageous sums of money.

3. Free agency is a thing, and, thanks to the absence of player contracts and the virtually unregulated transfer portal, is even more free than it is in the NFL.

4. Network deals are gargantuan, sponsor deals are gargantuan, the entire construct of big-time college football and basketball has become almost wholly divorced from the academic mission of the universities they represent. They pay mere lip service to that now, and "North Carolina" (or "Alabama" or "Texas" or "Georgia") is just the brand they sell.

It all must look like common ground to Belichick, so why not give the college game the old college try? And if Buddy Bill McElroy decides to bail on him because Baylor or Arizona State offered him a chunkier deal, how would that be different from Tom Brady bailing on him for Tampa Bay?

He'd just recruit (draft) another stud freshman, or convince another Buddy Bill to transfer to UNC (the Patriots) from Whatsamatta U. (the Jaguars).

Of course, he wouldn't want to let Buddy Bill get away to Duke. That would be like Brady signing with the Jets instead of the Buccaneers.

OK. So, sort of.